Did you know that I now have a Facebook page? No? That must be why your life is really terrible right now.

But it’s not too late to turn things around. Go to my page and push “like” and get hard-hitting commentary like this:

Enjoy as I eviscerate politicians and public figures alike:

Or maybe you’re looking for investment tips:

And get a glimpses of what goes on behind the scenes of my award-winning blogsite:

And there are unicorns!

(Actual unicorns may differ from the one depicted above, and may not be actual)

So do it now! Or don’t do it! Please yourself, you apathetic wastrel. It’s no wonder the country is going to the dogs.