I hate post-mortems. All that blood, and the smell. The smell!

They say all good things must come to an end. But they’re probably the same people who told me to invest in Hanover Finance.

I happen to be a big believer that people should [redacted]. That’s why I intend to [redacted] today and why you should too. In fact, if you don’t [redacted], you’ll only have yourself to blame when [redacted]. Am I clear?

This is a square. But if you lengthen two of its sides, you can turn it into a rectangle. How cool is that?

It’s funny how what I say at 6:59 pm can get me into trouble, but I can say the same thing at 7:01 pm and all is well. Well to hell with all of that. I’m making a stand. I have something to say! I think Justin Bieber would make a wonderful PM.

Has anyone actually been to Botswana? It sounds like one of those made up lands. Like Narnia, or Middle Earth, or Canada. I would like to go to Botswana one day.

My favourite colour is… Oh, wait, that might get me arrested today. Let’s talk about something else instead. Who likes jam?

I would eat more cheese if I could. I’m not fussy on cheese. It’s my greatest weakness. Well, that and committing acts of evil.

This is a picture of Pythagoras.

Hippos kill about 300 people a year in Africa. They don’t look that dangerous, do they?