The Doomsday Licensing and Registration Board wishes to advise the public that there will be no world-end today. The annihilation of everything had been scheduled for 0800 today, but due to staff shortages in our Mayan division we have been left with no choice but to cancel the event.These staff shortages have left us unable…

Religious authorities have confirmed that the Apocalypse is due to occur later this year. They have pointed to a number of omens, including dead fish mysteriously washing up around the world and birds falling from the sky. But experts say that the most compelling evidence of unworldly events is the success of the English cricket…