Another Labour Casualty

There were renewed calls today for Labour Party leader Phil Goff to step down, after another disastrous day for the party. The party were holding their annual Waitakere Cake Fair this morning when a series of unfortunate events left attendees questioning the Labour leader’s competence. The event is held each year to raise funds for…

Labour MPs Explain Voting Decision

Labour Party MPs have defended their decision to vote in favour of a controversial new law passed this week. The legislation passed by the government under urgency on Wednesday night requires all welfare beneficiaries to be paraded in town squares throughout the country, where they are to be pelted with rotten food and sprayed with…

Critics Slam Labour List Selections

The release of the Labour Party list has been met with scorn and derision by political commentators, bloggers and newspaper editors. The full list of 70 was released over the weekend, but it has drawn an immediately negative response. The first 30 on the list are: Jesus Christ Elizabeth I Alexander the Great Jane Austen…

Labour Looks To The Dead

Labour leader Phil Goff was under fire today, after admitting his party used psychics to help make important decisions. The revelations came after footage appeared on TV1’s Close Up last night of a secret Labour frontbench session with a medium known as Madame Esmeralda. Mr Goff admitted today that the party had consulted a number of…

“The war is lost”

Below is the transcript of a secret speech delivered in a closed leadership session during the Labour Party Summer School held over the weekend. I have promised the person who sent it to me not to reveal their identity, or the identity of the person who gave the speech. Do you agree with the opinions…