A message from Simon Bridges
A New Hope from the National Party leader
National Party MP goes on mass murder rampage
Update 1: It turns out that he didn’t. Update 2: Oh well, he’s probably still evil.
John Key’s Reshuffle Analysed
Prime Minister John Key today announced a reshuffle of his Cabinet, as well as a number of changes in the organisation of some government ministries. The changes will come into effect on 31 January.The biggest winner is Dr Nick Smith. He returns to Cabinet after his fall from grace last year, and is appointed as…
Can This Snail Be Saved?
United Future leader Peter Dunne has unexpectedly been appointed the Associate Conservation Minister. The announcement came today after the National and United Future parties signed a confidence and supply agreement. Dunne says he is looking forward to the new challenge presented by the Conservation role, and cites preservation of the endangered Giant Grey Snail as…
An Exclusive: Is National’s New Caucus Harbouring A War Criminal? UPDATED!
An investigation by this blogsite has revealed that the new National Party caucus may be harbouring the infamous Nazi war criminal Martin Bormann. Bormann was one of Hitler’s top henchmen, but his fate is unknown. Many believe he was killed while attempting to escape the fall of Berlin in 1945, but no solid proof of…
New North Shore MP Denies Leadership Plot
Speculation is mounting that North Shore MP Maggie Barry will seek the leadership of the National Party, after she told reporters there would be no CBD rail link. The gardening guru’s decision not to proceed with the rail link, only a couple of days after being elected in a safe seat, surprised many commentators. This…
Request For Urgent Assistance
Greetings to you! Allow me introduce myself to you. My name is Hon Steven Joyce, and I am top official National Party. The leader of party, His Excellency Right Honourable John Key came into a great deal of power three years ago after many battle with enemy forces, but due to numerous of complications and…
Why Labour Will Win
Sometimes I’m asked why I support the Labour Party. People assume that because I’m a highly-paid professional I ought to be supporting the party that offers me the biggest tax cuts and, well, screw the rest of the country. I tell people I support Labour because there’s more to life than personal financial enrichment, and…
Point Taken
Labour leader Phil Goff today launched a scathing attack on the National Party’s management of the country, after National yesterday released a 120 point economic plan. In contrast to National’s plan, Labour plan for jobs growth comprises a mere six points. Speaking to a rally of supporters in his Mt Roskill electorate, Mr Goff accused…
National’s New Irrigation Scheme
The National Party yesterday announced a new irrigation scheme to be funded from the Future Investment Fund. National has pledged to establish the Future Investment Fund to manage the proceeds from the sale of state assets, and has committed to use that fund for future infrastructure investment. Prime Minister John Key claims that the fund…
Imperator Fish 
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