A prominent breakfast television host has again caused controversy, after an on-air tirade comparing Jewish people to animals. The host of Aotearoa TV’s Rise and Shine, Herman Pond, made the remarks during an interview with the Prime Minister, John Key, this morning. Mr Pond claimed that Hollywood was controlled by Jews and that Jewish people should…
It appears that the dispute over the One Ring is no closer to being resolved, despite meetings between the interested parties over the last few days. A series of meetings last week between hobbit representatives and Mordor officials failed to strike a deal. The hobbits are believed to have rejected the latest deal put on…
I was at the gym yesterday working out and feeling pumped, when it suddenly came to me. I suddenly realise what makes all those fat poor people sad, and why I’m deliriously happy with my life. It’s not the expensive late model car, the flash house in Parnell, the fact that both I and my…
Twenty-seven tyrants and generals speak out against the meddlesome legal profession We write as a group of concerned despots and monsters with expertise in the area of unconstitutional practices. Earlier today a letter signed by twenty-seven respected legal academics was published, condemning the wide powers granted to the Government under the Canterbury Earthquake Response and…
Uncompromising left-wing columnist and Chairman of the Workers Solidarity Party of Aotearoa, Bob Mittsky, gives his picks for the local body election Comrades, Now that the local body elections are upon us we must mobilise our forces. By choosing carefully who we vote for we can achieve many of our aims with a lot less…
The Leader of the Opposition returns to Imperator Fish with another powerful column. It’s been a positive fortnight for Labour, and we’ve got National on the run. It was good to land some blows in Parliament this week against the PM’s handling of Rodney Hide. A strong performance in the House is the key to…
The Sensible Whaling Trust says that the ongoing assistance provided by Government agencies to stranded whales only encourages further criminal cetacean behaviour. “These low-lives make a mockery of the system,” said Sensible Whaling Trust spokesperson Ahab McReverend. “Despite what the namby-pamby whale-lovers say, whale-strandings are a just punishment for anti-social and offensive behaviour.” Mr McReverend…
Oh David Garrett!A new identity nowIn sunny Tonga?
Thursday Troubling news from the Capital. It seems that our allies are in disarray and cannot be relied upon to provide the support we require. It is pleasing, then, that we have so intimidated and overwhelmed out traditional enemies that they dare not move against us at this time. It is even more pleasing to…
Hobbies: Fighting, dressing up, jolly japes. Occupation: International man of mystery. Favourite book: The Day of the Jackal. Favourite movie: Unforgiven. Favourite food: Chicken Nugget Happy Meal. Dream date: I will call you on the phone and whisper promises of sweet seduction into your ear. You will meet me on a seat in a tree-lined…
Imperator Fish 
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