A message to Sonny Bill Williams
An important message to the rugby star
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SBW’s next opponent may be his toughest yet
Sonny Bill Williams’ manager has announced details of the fighter’s next opponent, only days after the star controversially defeated Francois Botha in the ring. He will fight Titewhai Harawira in April.Williams’ ten-round defeat of the ageing Francois Botha left many people questioning the credibility of professional boxing. Williams appeared to be in serious trouble when…
Jesus Said: My Book Plan
A new column from The Christ on life, the afterlife, and politics. I may be the Messiah, but nobody’s perfect. Like most of you mere foolish mortals, I also get pissed off when someone steals my limelight. That’s why I’m struggling to feel any sympathy for the plight of embattled Auckland mayor Len Brown. He’s…
Gossip Bomb Predicted To Hit Country Hard
Celebrity forecasters are warning of an impending gossip bomb, after a number of sightings of Keisha Castle-Hughes and Sonny-Bill Williams together. Bar patrons reported seeing the two sitting and laughing together during a private party at up-market bar Scratching Dodos in the Viaduct. The party was being held to celebrate the launch of Sally Ridge’s…
Sonny Bill Has No Plans To Sleep With You
The stock market dipped sharply in trading today, after no stories appeared in any of the major newspapers about Sonny Bill Williams for almost two hours. There were some signs of a rally early in the afternoon, as traders took a punt that one of the television current affairs shows would run a story about…
What Next For Sonny-Bill?
The All Black selectors have been left reeling, after the shock withdrawal by Sonny-Bill Williams from the All Blacks team on the eve of the Rugby World Cup. Williams failed to turn up to training yesterday, prompting speculation in the media that he had been dumped from the squad. But Williams’ manager Khoder Nasser last…
Sonny-Bill Fit To Play – in 2031
Rugby superstar Sonny-Bill Williams is set to make his debut for Canterbury next week. Canterbury coach Colin Slade said the niggling injury that has kept the exciting player on the sidelines for so long has almost healed. “Last week he wasn’t there, but this week he’s ninety-five per cent fit. “But we decided not to…
