Gossip Bomb Predicted To Hit Country Hard

Celebrity forecasters are warning of an impending gossip bomb, after a number of sightings of Keisha Castle-Hughes and Sonny-Bill Williams together.

Bar patrons reported seeing the two sitting and laughing together during a private party at up-market bar Scratching Dodos in the Viaduct. The party was being held to celebrate the launch of Sally Ridge’s new Abdominal Heave fashion label.

Murmurings of a romance between the pair began after Castle-Hughes dumped her long-time boyfriend Jesse Ryder following an altercation in a restaurant. Castle-Hughes was spotted by diners getting into Williams’ car after she left the restaurant.

Shortly afterwards Williams declared on his Facebook page that his romance with Millie Holmes was over, leading to speculation that he was moving on to Castle-Hughes.

However, friends of the two are staying tight-lipped about any romance.

Williams’ best friend and fellow All Black Zac Guildford said the pair were just friends, insisting there is nothing going on between them.

But celebrity-watchers noted that Williams and Castle-Hughes sat together during Guildford’s recent secret Rarotonga wedding, both during the ceremony and at the dinner afterwards at Trader Jack’s.

Celebrity forecasters say that the convergence of two such powerful paparazzi targets could cause a potentially-lethal gossip bomb, leaving women’s magazine readers and followers of the stars in a state of near delirium.

There is now a general gossip warning in place across the country, and people are being warned about the dangers of sudden hot flushes and floods of emotion, including euphoria, envy and arousal.

Gossip patterns are expected to return to normal in a few days, with Mike Hosking, Alison Mau, and the usual range of rugby players and talentless clothes-horses predicted to resume their parade across the newspapers and women’s magazines by the end of next week.