Wellington Health Officials Struggle To Cope With Contagion

An emergency quarantine zone has been established around the Beehive building in Wellington, after reports of senior government ministers inexplicably falling ill. A civil emergency has now been declared in Wellington, and health officials have been meeting under urgency to consider how to address the situation. The crisis became apparent after a government minister began to behave in…

Concerns Mount Over Absence Of Social Media Gaffes

A National Party MP’s colleagues have become increasingly concerned about his wellbeing, after he failed for two consecutive days to make a fool of himself on Twitter. Concerns were raised when colleagues of Tau Henare realised that they had not noticed a single social media brainfart from the list MP for over 48 hours. With…