My Neighbour Might Be A Terrorist

Dear Sirs, I read in the newspaper that you chaps are encouraging citizens to dob in people who may be involved in the spread or acquisition of weapons of mass destruction. I must say it was a relief to learn that I would finally have someone to express my concerns to. I’ve been very worried…

Uncle Ernie: Just Where Is Honduras?

If there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s bother and fuss. That’s why I’m not enjoying this week. Every time I turn on the telly I see more bother and fuss. Those poor chaps are stuck down that mine, which can’t be a lot of fun, but in my day we made the most of…

Uncle Ernie: Young Mr Key

Let’s hear it for our wonderful Prime Minister! Bernie Ecclestone is right. If we have learned one thing from the Hobbit debacle it is that democracy is the enemy of good government. When you consider how close we were to losing the Hobbit films, the unavoidable conclusion is that John Key should have been put…

Uncle Ernie’s Investment Advice

I am not often called upon to give financial advice, but I’ve seen a few Flash Harries in my day, and I know an investment fad when I see it. So when one of my readers asked where he should invest his South Canterbury Finance payout, I was only too happy to offer him some…