A Message From David Cunliffe
I TOLD YOU WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU DID THIS!
Transcript Of Labour Party Caucus Meeting
David Shearer: Thanks everyone for attending this special caucus meeting. I know the last few days have been tumultuous ones, but we need to address the behaviour of one of our caucus members. Trevor: Yeah, and we all know who.[a collective intake of breath from caucus members. Someone murmurs “Shaaaaame!”] David Cunliffe: Oh, come on,…
Some Advice To Labour’s Leader
Be strong. Be decisive. Cunliffe must be punished for his disloyalty. Although David Cunliffe has done nothing wrong, so you should not punish him too hard. In fact, Cunliffe is the victim in all of this. Any punishment should be meted out to others, those who created this gigantic mess in the first place. Like Chris Hipkins, who spoke…
A Day In The Life Of Patrick Gower
5:08 am Just asked David Cunliffe the big questions: “Does David Shearer have your full support? How will you vote if the leadership issue is put to the vote in caucus?” He won’t answer me. I ask him again. Still no answer. My cameraman suggests we come back later and try again, when Cunliffe’s awake.…
A Day In The Life Of Sherwin T. McFadden, Broadcaster And Blogger
7:29 am Was that the door? Oh my God, they’re here! I knew that one day the fascists in their jackboots and brown shirts would smash down my door and take me away. Didn’t I warn everyone that this was where it was all going to lead? This is all the mainstream media’s fault. They…
A Statement From Hekia Parata
A statement from Education Minister Hekia Parata to concerned parents, teachers and children in the Christchurch area I am aware that a lot of teachers, students and parents in Christchurch are expressing concern about the future of their schools.Today I want to take the opportunity to talk about how decisions in respect of schools have…
A Day In The Life Of That Labour MP
9:46 am I am weary, for I have slept little. But I cannot linger here, as there is work to be done. Last night was a late one, as I plotted with my minions in a secret chamber beneath the Michael Joseph Savage Memorial. There we feasted on the blood of virgins, made our diabolical plans,…
US President Ends Victory Celebrations As Crisis Looms
US President Barack Obama is facing his first crisis since being re-elected, after celebrity couple Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez announced they were breaking up.The news has dampened spirits amongst Obama’s supporters, who had been celebrating his win on Tuesday night. Mr Obama has cancelled any further victory celebrations and has returned to Washington for urgent briefings with his…
Obama Victory Speech Electrifies Faithful
Barack Obama yesterday celebrated his US presidential race victory by giving a stirring speech to his supporters. The newly re-elected President electrified a huge crowd in his home-town Chicago last night, with a soaring speech about hope and change. Obama used the speech to pay tribute to the thousands of volunteers who door-knocked, delivered pamphlets, and phoned uncommitted voters. “Without your tireless…
How About It, Mr Obama?
Dear Mr Obama, If you’re doing nothing much at the end of your four year presidential term, would you mind popping over here and sorting us out?I’m no immigration law expert, but I’m sure we could organise some kind of citizenship fast-track, allowing you to stand in the 2017 election. We’ll change the law if…
Imperator Fish 
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