The week has started badly for John Key. Yesterday we learned that National are down in the latest political poll, and today we hear that our intelligence folk may have been allegedly acting unlawfully. The last bit of news is a bit of a problem for John Key, since he’s the guy in charge of that particular area of government. It’s going to be difficult for him to say “oh I didn’t bother to read the report.”

Today Solid Energy also announced the loss of hundreds of jobs. Solid Energy is an SOE. So that’s our own government throwing people onto the scrapheap. Many of these people will head over to Australia, increasing the number of New Zealanders seeking their brighter futures elsewhere.

But now is not the time to panic. National has a plan to deal with the crisis. Tomorrow will probably see another welfare crackdown, although with the number of groups left to target rapidly diminishing, could it be the turn of one-legged Dutchmen to feel Paula’s wrath? Insomniac redheads maybe?

But if that plan doesn’t work, National has another up its sleeve: blame Labour.

Go on, sing along.

Blame Labour

My gal gone left me and my dog done died
Blame Labour.
My house burned down and I just got fired
Blame Labour.
My kids’ got no food and they’re hungry at school
I can’t pay the rent and the power bill’s due
Blame Labour.

There’s trouble in Afghanistan and problems in Iraq
Blame Labour.
My national cricket team totally suck
Blame Labour.
The neighbours with their parties are driving me mad
I can’t get no girls and my ass is getting fat
Blame Labour.

No matter who, no matter what, what no matter where-er
It’s all because of David  F**king Shearer
Blame Labour

My car’s engine performance is less that I might like
Blame Labour
My legs are sore after I went riding on my bike
Blame Labour.
The Gallipoli campaign did not go as planned
I didn’t realise Dame Edna was a man
Blame Labour.

No matter who, no matter what, what no matter where-er
It’s all because of David  F**king Shearer
Blame Labour.

The second Star Wars trilogy was a pile of shite
Blame Labour.
There’s just not enough marmite
Blame Labour.
My Google Maps don’t work no more
Athens lost the Peloponnesian War
Blame Labour.

No matter who, no matter what, what no matter where-er
It’s all because of David  F**king Shearer
Blame Labour.