John Key forgets he is the PM

There was confusion during the Prime Minister’s post-Cabinet press briefing today, after John Key appeared to forget that he was in government.

Mr Key took aim at Labour during the press briefing, blaming that party for the dire state of the economy.

He rubbished Labour’s economic credibility, and said that Labour could no longer be trusted to provide leadership or stability.

“It’s time we had a government that gave a damn,” said Mr Key.

When asked how he would address the problems of stagnant growth, widespread youth unemployment, and a growing gap between rich and poor, Mr Key pointed to Labour’s failures in office.

“Look at what the Labour government is doing to this country,” said Mr Key. “Shame!”

Mr Key said that the Education portfolio was in turmoil, after a series of crises and scandals.

“Chris Hipkins has to go,” said Mr Key. “The Minister has lost the trust of teachers and parents. Anyone with a shred of integrity would have resigned long ago.”

Mr Key said he was fed up with hearing excuse after excuse from Labour.

“They’ve had how many years in government now? When will they start taking responsibility for their actions?

“Look at the numbers fleeing to Australia for a better life. Look at the number of people out of work, the queues outside the foodbanks, and the way our small businesses continue to struggle under a government without any sort of plan.

“There has to be a better way. We cannot continue under this lousy government. I say choose a Brighter Future.”

Mr Key reacted angrily when journalists pointed out that National had been in power for the last four years.

“You’ve all bought into the spin,” he told the group. “Labour will say or do anything to avoid responsibility.”

Mr Key continued throughout the press briefing to deny that he was the Prime Minister of New Zealand and had been for the last four years.

“How can I be?” he said with growing anger. “Oh that really takes the cake. For the last four years we’ve suffered, and somehow this is all my responsibility?

“Why don’t you go and talk to David Shearer and ask his this: how many jobs has he created as Prime Minister? And unless he’s lying he’ll say zero. Go on, ask him!”