More dirt from Aaron Gilmore’s past emerges

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More shocking revelations have emerged today about embattled National Party list MP Aaron Gilmore.

In the latest dramatic twist, a man has told Newstalk ZB’s Mike Hosking that Gilmore once told him he would no longer be his friend.

George Robinson alleges that Gilmore’s behaviour occurred as the pair drank cordial and ate apples in the school playground, thirty-four years ago.

“I remember it clearly”, said Robinson. “We were arguing about whether dinosaurs and dragons were the same thing, and the debate got quite heated. I called him a poo, and that’s when he said he wasn’t my friend any more.”

Asked if he had been hurt or offended by Gilmore’s statement, Robinson replied: “at the time, yes. He made me cry.”

But Gilmore claims not to remember the incident.

“Jesus, man, I was five years old”, said Gilmore. “How am I meant to remember something that happened at primary school, when I can’t even properly recall what happened two Saturdays ago?”

Gilmore has also refused to comment on speculation that as a five-year-old he could not in fact tell the difference between a dragon and a dinosaur.

This latest scandal will only add to the pressure mounting on Gilmore to kill himself.

The MP is already being tipped to resign from Parliament. But with fresh revelations emerging daily that he was unkind to various people at various stages of his life, there are now calls for him to end it all in a dramatic fashion, and preferably in a public manner, so as to sustain the story in the media for another few weeks.

The alternative, that Gilmore just resigns and goes back to leading a normal life, where he gets to behave disgracefully in relative anonymity just like the rest of us, has journalists worried.

A source within one television newsroom has confirmed that news bosses there are deeply worried that the Gilmore story may be on its last legs.

“Then what will we do? If some politician isn’t making a dick of himself there will quite literally be nothing else politically to report. Nothing at all.”

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