It’s not always easy being a highly successful and respected blogger of the left, let me tell you. A lot of people envy my success, but too many of them turn envy to bitterness. I have worked hard to get where I am today, but it doesn’t matter to those people. They hate me because I have something to say and I say it more powerfully than they can.

But that doesn’t matter, because I’m not going to play their game anymore. We on the left have a problem, and it’s a problem that very often keeps us from achieving the change we all so desperately want. Those fat cats on the right are cutting taxes, slashing welfare and institutionalising poverty for tens of thousands of ordinary New Zealanders, while we’re arguing and bickering over who on the left has the most utopian vision of the future. We need to be working together, not against one another!

So I’m turning over a new leaf. Call it my new year’s resolution, if you will. I’ve never fully understood why so many on the left feel the need to take potshots at me, but from now on I’m not going to fire back. I’m focusing on the future, and on working together with others on the left for victory.

So I don’t care about the poison being written by Josie Pagani about me, and I’m not going to let it affect me. This year I’m all about the love, which is why the writings of demented class traitors like Pagani just don’t matter. I’m focusing on what we have in common, rather than on the noxious opinions of that traitor and monster, which is why I won’t be making any more comments about that awful woman. I’m not going to play the old divide-and-lose game anymore. We must unite and stand together! So it doesn’t matter to me what terrible things that woman has said on that fascist radio station she speaks on occasionally, or what treasonous bile she has written on that site Pundit (yes, apparently that site still exists! But look how little traffic they get compared to my site. Why do they bother?).

2014 is an election year, and we need to be working together, not fighting amongst ourselves. So I offer you a truce, Josie Pagani. Let’s not fight like this. It doesn’t matter to me that you represent all that is wrong in the world, and that your failure to see the true path marks you as a despicable class traitor. We are still both of the left, even if you are most probably secretly working for the fascist right. Let’s work for victory in 2014.

I heard someone say “I don’t agree with anything Josie Pagani says about the Labour Party, but she seems like a nice person.” What demented tosh! How can anyone who takes issue with me or disagrees with me in any way be even remotely human? The fact that I am prepared to work with a diabolical creature of pure evil like Pagani demonstrates how determined I am for the left to win in 2014.

Some people in the past have accused me of hypocrisy in my calls for unity. They have criticised me for being abusive towards others on the left. But that’s simply untrue! I have always worked hard for the left, because I learned long ago that the only way to beat the right is to unite and stand together in solidarity. That’s why I sometimes get so angry when people accuse me of attacking others on the left. My reputation is important to me, so please let me know if you hear of anyone out there on the blogosphere attacking me or my reputation, so I can take action against the poisonous class traitors.

I am utterly determined to make 2014 the year the left returns to power. You won’t see any friendly fire from me this year, not even against that malicious wrecker and closet Tory, Josie Pagani. I also won’t be making any attacks on the pond slime over at The Standard, and I vow to remain on friendly terms with the evil Russell Brown and his parasitic legion of followers at Public Address. And I won’t hear a single bad word said about that notorious villain and necromancer Giovanni Tiso.

So let us march in line towards victory, behind me, for I see the clearly the path we must follow. Only with unity and discipline can we win power and send these Tories back into opposition.

There will be plenty of time for debate about what we do with our power once we win it. That will also be the time to mend fences. Preferably using as building materials the bones of anyone who has wronged me, or disagreed with me in any way over any minor thing.

But for now, people, let us all unite. Your disgusting attitudes, your demented political views, and your purely Nazi ideology don’t matter to me, you despicable worthless scum, because we all want the same thing: victory for the left in 2014.