There was consternation this week as it was announced that King Tuheitia wants all of your things.

The Maori King has indicated that he intends to lay claim to the city of Auckland.

A claim is being prepared for the Waitangi Tribunal, but it is understood that King Tuheitia may extend the claim to seek ownership of all your stuff.

“That’s a nice house you have there,” said the king’s spokesperson Tukoroirangi Morgan.

“And is that one of those new smart TVs? The ones you can watch the internet on? We’ll take that too.

“Nah, it’s okay, you can still live here. You’ll just have to move into the garage. But don’t think for a minute we intend to let you freeload off us. Either you do your share of the chores around the place or you pay us some rent.”

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