The wheels on the bus are bald and barebald and bare, bald and bare,The wheels on the bus are bald and bareall through the town. The wipers on the bus don’t go at allgo at all, go at all,The wipers on the bus don’t go at allall through the town. The doors on the bus…
Sir Cecil Worthington-Brown gives his opinion on the royal engagement No, indeed I can’t say I approve of this impending royal marriage. Just what is the lad thinking? Marrying a commoner? It should have been obvious to anyone who knows royal history that things would go wrong as soon as the silly boy got himself…
According to Stuff: Phil Collins has contemplated killing himself, and would always pick an option that “didn’t hurt”. I so identify with this story. I too have contemplated killing Phil Collins. Okay, only in my imagination. My imagination can be quite vivid, however, and, Phil, I’m afraid you suffered greatly during your death, which was…
Gentlemen, I am truly humbled to stand before you today. You have always been, and remain, the very elite of New Zealand’s armed forces. It is a privilege as Defence Minister to be in your presence. The New Zealand SAS has a long and distinguished history, and SAS men have performed exceptionally in every field…
After another Guy Fawkes night that kept firefighters and emergency services desperately busy, the Prime Minister has suggested it may be time to look again at the regulation of firework sales. “It’s getting completely out of hand,” said Mr Key. “We have to ask ourselves why we put our emergency services through this every year.…
Well fuck me, I had a day yesterday. There was me looking forward to a big weekend watching the boys smashing the Aussies in the league when the phone goes and, would you know it, it’s me old mate John Key. “John,” I says, “Mate!” “Peter,” he says. “I need a favour”. He tells me…
I haven’t had time to take a good look at the 2025 Taskforce Report, but hope to do so in the next day or so. In the meantime, to get you thinking, here are some selected extracts from the report. Revelation 1 1. The Revelation of Don, which God gave unto him, to show unto…
Radio New Zealand has announced the appointment of a replacement on Morning Report for Sean Plunket. Michael Laws was announced as the new co-presenter of the show, effective from early January. Mr Laws will be based in Radio New Zealand’s Whanganui studio. The move is being regarded as a change in direction for the public…
Talk is cheap. It’s time to unleash Hell. The British have really stuffed us this time. It will now cost up to NZD$356 in taxes for a passenger to fly from the UK to New Zealand and Australia. This outrage has the potential to derail our tourism industry, which still relies heavily on British visitors,…
The Labour Party has attacked the appointment of Murray Sherwin as head of the Productivity Commission. Labour Party spokesman Dwayne “The Dude” Baker said that abolishing the Productivity Commission would be one of its first acts upon regaining office. “Dude, a productivity commission is so, like, lame,” said Mr Baker as he sank into his…
Imperator Fish 
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