Labour Party: Productivity Commission Is Totally Gay

The Labour Party has attacked the appointment of Murray Sherwin as head of the Productivity Commission.

Labour Party spokesman Dwayne “The Dude” Baker said that abolishing the Productivity Commission would be one of its first acts upon regaining office.

“Dude, a productivity commission is so, like, lame,” said Mr Baker as he sank into his three-seater sofa and prepared to watch the entire Directors-Cut Lord of the Rings Trilogy on DVD back to back.

National has established the Commission to promote economic growth. But Labour has argued that the $5 million annual budget is a waste of taxpayers’ money.

“That is like such a fucking crazy waste of cash, man,” said Mr Baker. “With even a fraction of that money I could so totally buy a new HD 42 inch TV, buy a new skateboard, and still have enough money left over for weed.”

In a press release issued yesterday, Labour leader Phil Goff said that the Productivity Commission was “just more waffle from John Key” and “window dressing.”

Mr Baker agreed. “Window dressing? That’s so totally lame, dude, spending five million on curtains. Just do what I do and hang an old sheet over the window.

“Productivity is just so gay. Those guys in suits are such try-hards. They should spend a few hours here, smoke some weed, and chill.

“Man I’m wasted. Gotta sleep. If you want to stay and smoke I don’t mind, but just don’t drink all my beer.”