The 618th North Pole Christmas Conference closed yesterday, leaving Santa and his helpers deeply divided, and exposing ugly rifts within the organisation. The three day conference, which took place in a secret grotto in the far north of Canada’s Quttinirpaaq National Park, attracted delegates from all major regions of the North Pole.The trouble began on…
Police say they are in shock, after the random search of a hipster’s car revealed a CD of Fleetwood Mac’s greatest hits. The discovery was made after police stopped an erratically-driven vehicle on Auckland’s Ponsonby Road yesterday afternoon.Constable Tony Walters said the car, a 1972 BMW, had pulled out suddenly into the road, forcing other…
If you slow the tape of the incident right down, I mean really really slowly*, you can see that the Welsh player appears to be moving his right hand towards his hip. That bulge at his side could just be a fold of rugby jersey, or the guy could be concealing a weapon. It was…
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A conference delegate listens intently as Deputy Leader Grant Robertson speaks Disappointed republicans hear the news that their remit has been defeated Members of Labour’s Te Atatu LEC meet to discuss how they will vote on remits David Cunliffe Andrew Little talks to the media David Shearer prepares to give his leader’s speech
I TOLD YOU WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU DID THIS!
David Shearer: Thanks everyone for attending this special caucus meeting. I know the last few days have been tumultuous ones, but we need to address the behaviour of one of our caucus members. Trevor: Yeah, and we all know who.[a collective intake of breath from caucus members. Someone murmurs “Shaaaaame!”] David Cunliffe: Oh, come on,…
Be strong. Be decisive. Cunliffe must be punished for his disloyalty. Although David Cunliffe has done nothing wrong, so you should not punish him too hard. In fact, Cunliffe is the victim in all of this. Any punishment should be meted out to others, those who created this gigantic mess in the first place. Like Chris Hipkins, who spoke…
5:08 am Just asked David Cunliffe the big questions: “Does David Shearer have your full support? How will you vote if the leadership issue is put to the vote in caucus?” He won’t answer me. I ask him again. Still no answer. My cameraman suggests we come back later and try again, when Cunliffe’s awake.…
7:29 am Was that the door? Oh my God, they’re here! I knew that one day the fascists in their jackboots and brown shirts would smash down my door and take me away. Didn’t I warn everyone that this was where it was all going to lead? This is all the mainstream media’s fault. They…
Imperator Fish 
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