• If you slow the tape of the incident right down, I mean really really slowly*, you can see that the Welsh player appears to be moving his right hand towards his hip. That bulge at his side could just be a fold of rugby jersey, or the guy could be concealing a weapon. It was self defence.

• In some parts of the world knocking a Welshman out would probably have earned Hore a reward. In the English city of Chester, for example, an ancient law permits the shooting of Welshmen with a bow and arrow inside the city walls and after midnight. So tell me again, what did Hore did wrong?

• Hore was trying to get into a ruck, and the Welsh player was in his way. Hore put his arm out not to flatten the guy, but to point out where the Welsh player should move to in order to avoid being penalised. Hore was only trying to help keep the opposition onside. That makes him a gentleman and a sportsman.

• Everyone is focusing on what Hore did, but what about the assault on Hore’s arm by the Welsh player’s throat?

• The All Blacks are not dirty players, and they’re certainly not cheats. Clearly, then, something strange is going on. Could the TV footage have been doctored?

• Look, even if we accept for a moment that Hore did something wrong, we can all agree that it was an offence at the lower end of the scale. After all, nobody actually got hurt, apart from the victim.

• You dare to question the integrity of the world champions? WHO ARE YOU TO ASK SUCH QUESTIONS?

• Hore is something of an expert when it comes to dispatching aquatic mammals. The incident can be put down to some entirely understandable confusion on Hore’s part upon hearing he would be competing against Wales.

• The referee said to Andrew Hore “if you don’t knock that Welsh bastard over I’m going to send you off”. So it’s all the ref’s fault. I know it sounds unlikely, but how do you know it isn’t true? Were you there? Did you hear every word the ref said? I thought not.

• I choose not to believe what all my senses tell me.  

* You don’t have the electronic equipment for this, so you’ll just have to trust me.