Kerre Woodham has declared that the swine flu pandemic is hogwash.

I think it’s about time we listened more to these bastions of common sense, rather than those so-called expert white-coated medical-type personages.

I am so relieved at the news of Kerre’s edict that I’ve booked a flight to Mexico tomorrow to attend the Tijuana Pig-Wrestling Festival.

Now if Kerre would only declare global warming a myth…