Urinating Minister Must Go – Critics

Embattled Local Government Minister Rodney Hide has refused to resign, amid claims he is drunk with power.

Critics of the Minister say the havoc wrought by him throughout the local government scene has left him intoxicated with power.

North Shore mayor Andrew Williams is one of those calling for Hide’s resignation.

“He’s been pissing all over the people of Auckland for too long,” said Mr Williams.

Hide, speaking exclusively to Imperator Fish, denied he had a power problem.

“I’m just a regular guy who likes to slash and burn everything the people of Auckland hold dear.”

Hide also refused to comment over claims he had been urinating all over the prospects of New Zealand’s biggest city.

The Minister’s caucus colleagues are also eager for him to resign. One caucus member interviewed, who wanted only to be known as “Heather,” said Hide had to go.

“It’s simple, really. Rodney’s a strong performer and won Epsom for us, and I owe him everything. If it wasn’t for Rodney I wouldn’t be here.

“I’m sick of him holding this brutal truth against me. He has to go. I want a turn at leader!”