Prepare To be Assimilated

Is there no area of technology that Google is not heavily involved in? The company has just announced plans to build a Google TV.

But it turns out that this might be the tip of the iceberg. Developers at Google have revealed some other exciting plans.

New Google motto – Their famous motto is being revised. The word “Don’t” is being removed, as this small word has been badly affecting their bottom line.

Google Jesus – It’s quite possible that Google are the messiah. In case you’re not convinced, the corporation will next year begin rolling out a new generation of religious prophets whose adherence to the great Google God will ensure millions of new followers. Not interested? You will be once you find out what happens to unbelievers.

Google Microsoft – No, not a merger. Think of it more as a snack. The monster is hungry and needs to feed.

Google Money – This may be their boldest move yet: an entirely new currency to rival and eventually replace the Euro and US dollar as global currencies. The new currency will be called the AYBABTU.

Google Army – It’s not enough to dominate the online and technology worlds. This new product really does allow the corporation to take charge of the market in a way no company has before. Think Blackwater but on a much much bigger scale.

Google Government – By the time all the other measures have come into effect you’ll have been softened up to such an extent that you’ll probably just go “meh”.

Google Earth – And you thought that was something else? Ha!

Resistance is futile!