No doubt you’re gearing up for the big day. I hope you have your costume ready.

World Statistics Day is marked tomorrow, highlighting the importance of Statistics New Zealand’s data gathering and analysis, Statistics Minister Maurice Williamson says.

I look forward to donning my celebratory robes and joining in the festivities.

Tonight in celebration of the first United Nations mandated World Statistics Day

Mandated? We were commanded to observe this day? Outrageous! Down with this PC crap!

the Minister and Statistics New Zealand will release the latest New Zealand Official Yearbook at a ceremony in the Beehive.

And ten thousand doves will be released to celebrate the occasion. A procession of monks will then walk through the streets of Wellington banging gongs and chanting. An animal, or maybe even a child, will be sacrificed on the steps of the Beehive to mark this auspicious occasion.

Mr Williamson says statistics are important in informing decision making and measuring both the country’s progress, but the growth of global development.

“Government uses official statistics to help make decisions around where and how to invest in public services. Statistics also help measure the success of those decisions.”

And ministers use statistics to hide the really appalling way they are running our country.

“They also record our past and tell the story of our country,” Mr Williamson says.

They can certainly be used to tell stories. 

Mr Williamson said government departments are being encouraged to make more of the statistics they collect available for more people to use.

That will create greater transparency in government and more people will benefit from the sharing of facts and data.

“As more data becomes available more innovative ideas – and not just from the public sector – will be generated,” Mr Williamson says.

All this sharing sounds like communism to me. I don’t like it, sir. No I don’t.

Maybe I won’t get out and celebrate after all. I will stay in and denounce the entire exercise on my site, even if it means missing the fireworks display and the military parade. This incoherent blog-rage doesn’t write itself, you know.