The Face Of Looting

ACT MP Rodney Hide was today apprehended by authorities after he was caught red-handed attempting to make off with the nation’s riches.

Mr Hide, 54, is accused of having urged government ministers to pursue policies that, if implemented, would see an immediate financial windfall to Hide’s supporters. Hide’s supporters would have benefited enormously from a wholesale sell-off of state assets proposed by Hide, and a reduction in tax rates for the wealthy.

Authorities have laid a raft of other charges against Hide. They include engaging in misleading and deceptive conduct in representing to the public of New Zealand that the ACT Party has a remaining shred of integrity and is not a refuge for the bewildered.

Conspiracy charges have also been laid in relation to a range of violence and property damage matters, including conspiring to slash, burn and gut the New Zealand state sector, and to cut state assistance for the poor and needy.

The president of the ACT Party, Chris Simmons, has issued a statement dismissing the accusations made against Hide.

“I have received a document with the list of charges laid against Mr Hide, and I am confident that there is no substance to it whatsoever,” Mr Simmons’ statement says.

“I would even go as far as to say that the person who concocted these charges is utterly insane.

“Let me add that I speak from a position of some experience in these matters. In my role as ACT president I deal with a lot of insane people.”

If found guilty of the charges Mr Hide faces a lengthy period of exile. A guilty verdict could even give rise to a political death sentence being handed down by the court of public opinion.