Labour MP Admits He Is Under Investigation

MP Dwayne Baker admitted today that he is the Labour politician under investigation by police.

The police investigation concerns a number of allegations made by an 18 year old man.

In a statement to the media Mr Baker admitted that he was the politician in question, but also denied all wrong-doing.

Mr Baker, who calls himself “The Dude”, was suspended from the Labour Party caucus in February, after a series of run-ins with the leadership of the party over offensive comments made by him.

The suspension was lifted earlier this month, after Mr Baker agreed to moderate his behaviour and language.

The young man at the centre of the allegations told journalists that he had come forward because he could no longer stand to see the MP’s face in public.

“Dwayne Baker is a criminal,” said the man.

“He totally stole my weed and crashed my car.”

The man filed a complaint with police, who confirmed that they were taking the matter seriously.

“We take a very dim view of anyone stealing someone else’s stash,” said Detective Inspector Jeff Smaug of the Auckland Police.

“We are continuing with our investigations.”

Meanwhile, Mr Baker today confirmed that he had been in discussions with independent MP Hone Harawira about the formation of a new left-wing party.

Baker has been tipped by many to break away from Labour, in spite of his recent reinstatement to the caucus. Insiders have said that Baker is unhappy with the direction the party has taken on a number of key issues.

One unnamed Labour MP said that Baker stood up during a recent caucus meeting and attacked Phil Goff for being out of touch. According to the unnamed MP Baker told Goff that he needed to focus more on the issues affecting ordinary New Zealanders. Baker identified those issues as “cheap weed and banging hot babes”.

Baker confirmed that he had met Mr Harawira at the independent MP’s house recently.

“Hone puts on a good feed,” said Mr Baker. “And I had to get out of town with all this shit going down with the pigs. So I turned up at his place and he just kept on talking about what he wanted in this new party. It was all so boring. Who cares about that shit?

“I fell asleep, because I’d got pretty wasted the night before. He was pissed off when I woke up and he told me to get out of his house, but don’t ask me why. I guess he’s angry because the pigs and fascists stole his land like a hundred years ago.”

Mr Baker said he had not heard back from Mr Harawira since the meeting, but was optimistic about the prospects of forming a new political party.

“I think the meeting went pretty well. I’m looking forward to being deputy leader, and expect Hone to call me soon.

“Hey, do you know if my salary goes up if I’m deputy leader? That would be totally awesome, because I owe a guy for some mushrooms I bought last month, and he’s starting to get really pissed at me.”