PM Appoints New Chief Science Advisor

John Key today announced the appointment of George Clinton as the new Prime Minister’s Chief Science Advisor, following the shock resignation last week of Sir Peter Gluckman.

Mr Key said that the role of Chief Science Advisor was a demanding one, and that the post required someone with both communication skills and a high degree of creativity.

“Mr Clinton brings decades of experience to the role,” said Mr Key.

“A glittering career in music as a singer, songwriter and producer has established him as one of the leading exponents of funk music worldwide.”

Mr Clinton told a media conference via satellite linkup that he was honoured to be chosen for the role ahead of a number of other worthy candidates.

“Man, this funk shit is some fun! Get your ass up here my brothers and let’s blow some motherfunking minds right now,” said Mr Clinton.

Mr Clinton said that the New Zealand economy was facing some unique challenges in the medium term, with an overdependence upon raw commodities and a traditional reluctance by the business sector to spend money on research and development.

He said his first task would be to look at the role of science in addressing the country’s modest economic performance.

“But I am here to say enough, my friends! The power is within us to move our funkadelia into new phenomena and blast our afronautic asses into the whole galactic funk. Are you ready to party in the funkhouse tonight?”

Mr Clinton also lamented the lack of incentives to invest in R&D, and said he would push the Prime Minister hard to reconsider implementing an R&D tax credit system.

“When you are funking your mindspinning creativity is melding with the extraterrestrial power of the groove,” said Mr Clinton.

“Henceforth let it be written that the cosmic funkatising concepts were first taken from the mothership and given to mankind so that he may party. Can you feel that?”

Education would be critical to the development of an innovation economy, Mr Clinton said.

“Lend me your time and let the god of funk enter your mind!”

The Labour Party has attacked the appointment, with Research, Science and Technology spokesperson David Shearer saying that Clinton has no background in science or policy.

But Mr Clinton has defended his appointment.

“When you look back across the ages you will always find some brother afraid of the power of the funk,” said Mr Clinton.

“The funk cannot be captured or contained by your earthly forces, baby. It is not of this world. It was birthed in a cosmic groove, and if you’re not gonna groove then I’m not gonna move!”