Give That Man A Pill

I’ve some good news for Labour supporters.

I had a dream last night that revealed to me why Labour has struggled in the polls, and why Phil Goff is struggling to get any traction with the public.

He’s ill.

According to my dream (and we all know that dreams can reveal essential truths about the world we live in), Goff is struggling with an illness that affects his speech and makes him sound less than decisive when he speaks to the media.

The great news is that Goff’s illness is cured, but only after he collapses in the House. A clever doctor (probably also a House, of the TV doctor variety) diagnoses the problem and gives him a magic pill. Hey presto! Bad man Goff is back, and he returns to the fray, kicking much arse and becoming the People’s Hero.

Naturally Labour wins the 2011 election and John Key ends up being derided for leading a one-term government. Key’s legacy is as a minor footnote to our nation’s history.

Unfortunately for Labour, I also end up in Parliament as a backbencher (okay this is where my dream really begins to stretch reality). That’s where my dream ends, but I can see a sequel in it. Will this ambitious blogger be content just to warm the backbenches? Or will he have aspirations to lead the party? Watch out for that knife, Phil.