Plenty Of Reasons For Labour SupportersTo Be Cheerful

I’ve made no secret of my Labour affiliations, but I maintain that my analysis on this blog is fiercely independent and impartial. I hate all right leaning parties equally.

So I’ve been looking at the numbers in the latest polls, and I’ve come to the conclusion that all is not lost for Labour. Here are some interesting facts:

  • In the last Fairfax poll Labour scored around 28% support. That’s a good start. With a mere 22% gain in the next couple of months Labour will be in a position to rule alone. The good news is that Labour’s already halfway there!
  • Having a huge majority in the polls isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be. In the recent North Korean elections everyone who voted cast their ballot in favour of Party-approved candidates, and look what a basketcase that country is. So in a way you could argue that the lower Labour’s polling goes, the more credible the party becomes. That’s certainly what I intend to argue.
  • Don’t be fooled by the lousy polling. As a loyal party man I’m convinced that this is part of the genius of Labour’s plan. When we finally strike they won’t expect it.
  • Winning isn’t everything anyway, right? A silver medal’s still a good result.
  • Elections are all about the quality of the votes, rather than the quantity. National may be on track to secure a large victory, but those 50-odd percent of votes are rubbish votes, while Labour’s 28-30% are pure quality. And scarcity always drives up the importance and value of something. On that basis, Labour’s few votes are worth much more than National’s, which are as common as muck.
  • The sun will still rise on November 27. Even if it is a Tory sun.
  • John Key won’t be around forever. He will eventually die. One day.  Probably at the age of 95, after a reign lasting decades, and he’ll be so venerated that they’ll build a giant pyramid in his honour, and mourners will be so devastated that they’ll pour petrol upon themselves and set themselves on fire. Auckland will have been renamed St John’s in his honour. So maybe we just need to wait for a little bit.
  • They don’t call the party Labour for nothing. It’s supposed to be hard work, dummy!

So cheer up and let’s lose that upside-down smile. Things are looking up!