Who Is Behind The Rioting?

For a second night the centre of Auckland has fallen victim to overnight riots and looting.

The trouble began on Monday, when cars and rubbish bins were set alight by a mob of infuriated bankers.

The cause of the initial disturbance is not known, but the trouble quickly turned to rioting, with shop windows broken and buildings set alight.

The rioting escalated quickly, as stockbrokers, lawyers, financial analysts and advertising executives joined in.

The disorder has seen dozens of arrests, and has resulted in millions of dollars in property damage.

Police have also confirmed that the trouble has spread to other parts of the city.

In Remuera a number of looters yesterday attacked an antiques shop and made away with a grandfather clock and several pieces of china plate.

And in Devonport a coffee shop was torched by an angry mob infuriated by the decision of the owner to serve trim lattes in a long glass.

One of the Devonport rioters, who identified himself as Piers, said people were fed up with the inconsistency of the fare being offered by local baristas.

“They don’t got no respect, innit,” said Piers from beneath his Versace balaclava.

Police fear the trouble may spread to high density housing areas, such as Parnell and Ponsonby, where large numbers of the affluent and upwardly mobile are almost living on top of each other.

Experts have long warned about the dangers caused by high concentrations of disaffected professional people in inner city suburbs. Forced to pay moderate taxes, and concerned about the rising costs of private education, this group is regarded by many social workers as a ticking time-bomb.

Police claim that the disturbances are not random, and appear to be organised. They say they are following up reports that a sinister terror organisation is behind many of the attacks. The terror group, calling itself Rotary International, has not claimed responsibility for any of the incidents, but branches of the organisation exist close to most of the trouble spots.

Authorities admit that they do not know what the group’s goals are. Recordings of the spiritual leader of Rotary International’s militant Epsom wing, known only as the Club Secretary, have appeared on the internet from time to time, but the Club Secretary has been silent throughout the events of the last two days.

The Club Secretary’s personal assistant said he had been too busy to talk to the media, as he was organising a fundraising event for Starship Hospital.

Last month, following a special investigation, the Woman’s Weekly claimed that Starship Hospital was a vehicle for funnelling funds to various terror groups, including Rotary, the Lions and Make A Wish Foundation.

The Vatican refused to comment on the troubles, because they did not want to wake the Pope up from his nap.