Apparently some bloggers are getting paid big money to go feral on opponents of big business. Big money.

I’m not talking a can of coke and a $5 McDonalds voucher either, although I probably would turn class traitor for a free Big Mac.

So if $10,000-$20,000* is the going rate for turning blog tricks, as one esteemed blogger has claimed, how do I get me some?

Where do I apply for this money? Does big business use a recruitment agency for dirty bloggers? Do I have to send my CV somewhere? Somebody help me out here!

Wait, what was that? You think I’m not up to it? Is my style of blogging not offensive enough for you? I can be offensive. And I can say awful things about the left, truly awful things that would raise the hair on the back of your neck, but only if there’s money in it.

If you don’t believe me then allow me to demonstrate:

Gee, that union should moderate some of its demands! 

David Shearer is a fine man, but on reflection I prefer John Key’s charm, charisma and grace.

I am mildly disappointed with Labour’s current performance.

All good? When does the first payment arrive? And will it come in a brown paper bag? That would be awesome.

* Plus or excluding GST? My accountant needs to know.