Labour responds to "Devil-Beast" claim

Labour leader and diabolical master of puppets, David Shearer

Labour Party MPs have rubbished claims by John Key during his Budget speech that Labour are the “Devil-Beast”.

The Prime Minister made the comments during a fiery debate over Bill English’s budget.

“It will be about National versus the Devil-Beast”, Mr Key said of the 2014 election.

“I know who I’ll be voting for, and it won’t be the Devil Beast”, he continued, pointing towards the Labour benches.

But Labour Party leader David Shearer was quick to rubbish claims that Labour are the Devil Beast Party.

“Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn”, said Mr Shearer.

“Thax thftaunag sha’a’g fta ‘aftuar ru’ ru’ts-huna ftiaxa’t ang shas shax’g sathkfta sha arru’gaftfta huiatung th’utut. Bias aftft shax”a guung ut ‘alaasung shau’ huftftugh l’unuta su gas suiagh un thuianthuftt u’a’ ‘atuia’tha thuntanst. Is’t suna su gas ‘aaft”, said Shearer, as he tore the head off one of his junior assistants and drank deeply of her virgin blood.

Labour’s Finance spokesperson David Parker was also scathing of Bill English’s budget, claiming that it “gug nushung su agg’att sha rianganansaft unftaftanthat ghhuthh gha’a ana’gung un sha athununx”.
Parker illustrated the point by referring to previous Treasury forecasts, and by emitting a monstrous crypt-like stench of corruption and filth. 
Parker said Labour would not be responding further to John Key’s taunts, as a dark and malevolent force due to rise from the pits of Labour’s caucus room just after midnight would take care of matters for all eternity.