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I don’t really want to comment about these allegations, except to say that they are disappointing, and a major distraction for the mayor at a time when he needs to be focusing on sorting out our city’s problems.

If it turns out that there’s more to this story than a husband’s infidelity, then I may have more to say. For example, if it turns out that Council resources have been used by the mayor to pursue this romance, or if he has exercised his powers in an improper way.

I know of the young woman, Bevan Chuang, but I can’t really claim to know her well, and I don’t recall ever having had much to do with her. I certainly don’t know anything about her allegations beyond what I’ve heard in the news.

It’s not for me to judge the actions of Len Brown. I don’t really have anything more to say.

Cameron Slater? Oh, I don’t really know him. His father worked on my campaign, but as far as I’m aware Cameron wasn’t involved. Even if Cameron was urging people to vote for me, and was out to destroy my opponent.

Luigi Wewege? No, that name doesn’t ring a bell. Oh, that Luigi Wewege… Yes, I think he may have had some very minor role in my election campaign. Well maybe not minor, but certainly not major. Not major in the sense of his being the candidate. That was me, obviously. Heh.

No, I had no idea Luigi and Bevan were an item, and that he was trying to get her to spill the beans on her relationship with Len Brown. Nothing to do with me. I’m not sure what you’re suggesting. What makes you think one of my advisers would tell me he was in receipt of explosive information about my opponent, at a time when it was looking certain I would lose the election unless some major scandal erupted?

Like I said, I don’t really know the young woman very well, and sleazy gutter politics is not my style. I’m a clean operator. If someone on my team was involved then it had nothing to do with me.

Did I ever meet Ms Chuang privately? No!

Wait, yes! Oh, it was nothing. Just a catch-up about the weather, as I recall. Nothing unusual in that. Late at night. In a carpark. An attractive young woman who happens not to be my fiancé.

When? Oh, I don’t remember. Oh, was it? Yes, maybe it was just before the Len Brown story broke, but I don’t exactly recall.

As I said, we talked about the weather. Ms Chuang was very keen to explain why she thought we would see some rain across the city towards the end of the week. I in turn argued strongly that any precipitation would occur in the middle of the week and then clear away by Friday, leaving us with a gloriously fine weekend.

We most certainly did not discuss her affair with Len Brown. Oh, she said we did?

Wait, I recall she may have mentioned something about the matter, but I wasn’t really paying attention. As I told you, sleazy gutter politics is not my style. I was very determined to win the weather argument, so she could have said something about Len Brown without my paying any attention. I most certainly did not direct her to go to my campaign manager’s son.

I don’t know why she would say I insisted we couldn’t be seen together. Why would I say that? I had nothing to hide. In a carpark late at night with a woman who wasn’t my fiancé. Nothing. No, it’s all coming back to me now. Ms Chuang misheard my words. I remember saying “we must not be obscene”, but she must think I said “we must not be seen.”

The whole conversation comes back to me now. I suspect Ms Chuang may have mentioned her plan to go public about her affair with the mayor, and I may have said in passing, “now now, we must not be obscene. I want nothing to do with this, because I am a man of integrity and good standing, and sleazy gutter politics is not my style. Your decision to talk to Cameron Slater disappoints me, and no good will come of it. If I were you I would just forget about the whole thing. Move on with your life, and try to put this episode behind you. I’m focused on the issues that matter to the people of Auckland, and I want no part of any sordid sex scandal. Is this really what we want our politicians to be focusing on? No, I’m much better than that. I don’t want us to be distracted by this, and I want us to be having conversations about roads, public transport, rates, and the unitary plan, and how this city needs fresh and dynamic leadership from a man with a proven record in business, who isn’t afraid to upset the apple-cart, who is prepared to go up against vested interests, and whose only focus is the wellbeing of the citizens of this great city, our great city, the best goddamn city in the world!”

At least that’s what I think I said. If I didn’t, and if it turns out that there is a recording of me saying something quite different, then of course I will deny all knowledge of it. It’s amazing how they can manipulate and doctor recordings, and the existence of any such recording would prove nothing. Anyone who knows me will tell you that sleazy gutter politics is not my style!