Are they really the Green Taleban?

Peter Dunne last week said that some of the Green Party’s MPs were as extreme as Afghanistan’s Taleban.

But is he right? Let’s put the Greens to the test.

Green Party

Taleban

Strategy for victory

Compete at national elections by asking people to vote for us. Do this by shaking a lot of hands, putting up hoardings showing pictures of rainbows and happy smiling people, and generally being nice. Attempt to gain enough support to have some say in government. Use violence, terror, intimidation, and fear. Obliterate our enemies.

Main threats to society

Climate change. Environmental destruction. Women. Education. Beardlessness.

Views on science

While the anti-GE views of some Greens have been challenged by scientists, science is at the heart of most Green Party environmental policies. Science is the work of Satan.

Views on women

Women deserve the same rights as men. End all discrimination against women. Women are vessels of sin. Keep them at home, and take a firm hand.

Views on homosexuality

Diversity should be celebrated. People should be treated with respect, regardless of their sexual orientation. The law should not favour one sexual orientation over any others. Stone the polluters to death, or cut off their heads.

When they have power they will

negotiate with their coalition partner in an effort to get as many of their policies accepted as possible, though with some inevitable watering-down. make the Dark Ages seem like a time of enlightenment.

Policy on the Arts

Our artists and our creative sector need to be supported and nurtured. Destroy all art.

Economy

We need to build a sustainable economy that lifts New Zealand’s economic performance. We’re too busy killing the people who disagree with us to be concerned about things like the economy.

The organisation’s leadership

Green MPs are sometimes criticised by their opponents for being naïve or economically illiterate, but they are mostly nice people. Murderers and thugs.

On sharing power

The Greens are willing to work with anyone who will advance their policies. Enthusiastic supporters of MMP. Not very good at working with others.

Dealing with people who don’t like them

Attempt to persuade them that we are right. Threaten them with violence. If that doesn’t work, kill them.

People don’t like them because

In the eyes of many voters their policies are unrealistic and unaffordable. They kill a lot of people.

Views on dress, hair, and attire

Let people express themselves however they like. Follow our strict rules to the letter, or risk being beaten or killed.

Views on Peter Dunne

A bit of a dick. As a member of a pro-US government, he is an enemy of God and should be destroyed. But not really worth our effort at this time.
Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Are they really the Green Taleban?

  1. Pingback: ImperatorFish: Are they really the Green Taleban? - The Standard

  2. Well, d’uh! Those Islamic folks have green as their signature colour. If one looks carefully, the Greens also have green as a colour. The conclusion: Islamofascism! Which is ok, but Obama being a Muslim, and a communist and all, is a clear indication that the Greens have communism is the ultimate destination. I couldn’t it better than that nice chap in a suit who hosted ‘My Home, My Castle’: “Communists: people who love long queues and poverty!” Wake up, New Zealand, lest we all seize control of the factors of production and all that!

  3. Greens: are all hippies
    Taleban: beards, sandals and robes

    Greens: disagree with Peter Dunne
    Taleban: despise Peter Dunne (and all other infidels)

    Greens: low carbon, hi tech future in agrarian communes
    Taleban: low tech, high explosive future in caves

    OMG Greens = Taleban !!1!
    QED

Comments are closed.