I have been feeling a little left out, with all these new political parties being formed. Kim Dotcom is about to launch the Internet Party, Brendan Horan says he is forming a new political entity as a vehicle for his insatiable ambition, and Ben Uffindell is in the process of creating the Civilian Party.

Did anyone ask me for advice about their new party? No! Was I given the opportunity to consult on the strategy to be adopted by any of these new parties? Alas, I was not.

The tragedy of it all is that I would have happily provided spectacularly bad advice for $8000 a month (plus GST and disbursements). My advice would have been so off the mark that it would have been valuable as a guide for what not to do.

For example: “Kim, if I were you I’d promise everyone who votes for the Internet Party fifty bucks and a steak-and-cheese pie.”

Nor have I been tapped on the shoulder and asked if I want to be a candidate for any of these parties.

Life is too short to feel bitter, which is why I have decided to create my own political party. Why be the only satirist blogger without one?