Embed from Getty Images

A scientific study funded by Nasa, the American space agency, has concluded that modern civilisation is on the verge of collapse.

It’s easy to become depressed as one contemplates the annihilation of everything precious to us. What will happen to our children? Will any of the great achievements of our modern civilisation endure, or will we descend to a state of barbarity and ignorance? Will anything survive at all, apart from cockroaches and perhaps the Whaleoil blog?

I’d like to hear more from our politicians about this issue. No, I don’t expect them to convince me that our particular society in tiny New Zealand can avoid the downfall that the Nasa study predicts. We are a small nation, and in the event of a global crisis we would be at the mercy of larger forces.

But I do want to hear what post-apocalyptic policies our politicians plan to implement, in the event they are in power when the balloon goes up. For example, if it turns out that law and order break down completely, so that mobs of armed men roam the streets raping, burning and looting, and if warlords take over our ruined cities and towns one by one, ruling over a shattered and demoralised populace with brutality and cruelty, killing anyone who opposes them, should any of these things be taken into account by the Reserve Bank Governor when setting the Official Cash Rate?

I’m not entirely pessimistic about the future of our country, because it won’t all be bad. Even if all these terrible things come to pass and our lives become solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short, at least we won’t have to listen to any more of those infuriating iPredict updates.

And who doesn’t want to try human flesh at least once before they die? If you reckon on having adventurous taste buds, then what could be better than a global catastrophe in which the ragged survivors end up eating the bodies of the dead merely to survive?

Still not convinced that the collapse of civilisation could be a good thing? I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’m not sure how else we’ll ever get rid of John Key’s government, so I’m willing to give it a go.