I have long argued that John Key and his friends in National plan to eat our children.

Nothing about today’s Budget suggests otherwise. On the contrary, it seems that National are accelerating plans to turn our most precious babies into food.

You probably don’t believe me. “But wait,” you are thinking, “if they mean to harm our children, why would they have just announced plans to make doctors visits for the under 13s free?”

You poor dupe. Think about it. If you were planning to sell the children of this country as food to Chinese-controlled dairy companies, to be ground down and added to their products to become protein-enhanced milk powder, wouldn’t it make sense to keep your victims healthy?

A good farmer takes prudent steps to protect the herd from disease. That’s all these free doctor visits are.

So every time National does anything nice for families, just remember that it’s just part of their evil masterplan.

Don’t be fooled!