Hug a Greenie today


As a Labour supporter, it upsets me to see the relationship with our good friends the Greens take a turn for the worst in recent days.

Accusations are being thrown around by both parties, but we must not resort to petty name-calling. That would only make things worse.

Neither party can realistically hope to form a government without the help of the other. Both parties need to work together if National are to be defeated in 2017.

So, Labour people, let’s get over ourselves. Let’s try to mend fences, to build bridges.

Let’s give these smelly tree-huggers another chance.

Labour and the Greens won’t agree on everything. That’s to be expected. If they did agree on every issue, what would be the point of their carrying on as two separate parties?

But there will be occasions where we can work collaboratively and constructively with this disgustingly anti-progress anti-science bunch of lentil-chewing weirdos. We should embrace those opportunities, and not let personal opinions impede our progress towards building a better country.

When those occasions arise, we will need to keep things civil and professional. Let’s always keep the door open for them, and let’s not be afraid to meet with them when the need arises. We can always get the furniture steam-cleaned after those ferals have left the building.

John Key would like nothing more than to see us engaged in a battle against a fringe party harbouring a range of lunatics from anti-GE fanatics and anti-fluoridation obsessives, to believers of the power of homeopathy against diseases like Ebola. But let’s not give John Key that victory. Let’s not fight against our Green Party brethren, even if most of them are nutcases.

There’s no doubt that the Greens are our natural ally on the left. So let’s work with them, not against them.

The Greens may want to ruin our economy with their fantastical schemes for saving the planet, but let’s focus on our common interests. We can work with these people, even if a good number of them seem to regard personal hygiene as an offence against Gaia.

Together we can defeat National, but disunited we don’t stand a chance. So, Labour people, how about it? Go on, hug your local Greenie. Give them a great big cuddle and tell them you’re sorry. We didn’t mean it. We’re still friends.

But if you do this, make to dispose of your decontamination suit properly.