John Key today announced the appointment of George Clinton as the new Prime Minister’s Chief Science Advisor, following the shock resignation last week of Sir Peter Gluckman. Mr Key said that the role of Chief Science Advisor was a demanding one, and that the post required someone with both communication skills and a high degree…
The Government is considering all options to end the protest by environmental groups against the oil company Petrobras. The protests have included swimmers blocking the path of Petrobras’ survey ship. Because the protests are taking place outside New Zealand’s 12 mile limit, it is unclear what legal power authorities have to take action. However, officials…
More observations from touring British Conservative MP Sir Giles Fortescue-Snoot. I say the chaps on the West Coast of the South Island are a queer lot. And I don’t mean queer like cousin Bertie (or Bertrice, as he now insists upon being called). No I mean rum, peculiar, curious, singular. I’m certain that a more…
The release of the Labour Party list has been met with scorn and derision by political commentators, bloggers and newspaper editors. The full list of 70 was released over the weekend, but it has drawn an immediately negative response. The first 30 on the list are: Jesus Christ Elizabeth I Alexander the Great Jane Austen…
Thanks to a deal I’ve managed to score with the noted historical fiction author Bernard Cornwell, here are some extracts from the seventy-sixth book in his acclaimed series The Parliamentary Quest. In this book, young Nathaniel Sharphook, the National MP for Whangamamatara, continues his search for the person who killed his family. But first he…
In my younger carefree days I was known to eat the odd felafel, especially late at night after a few jugs of beer. But I’d usually wake up the next morning feeling dreadful and with a splitting headache. My body was obviously telling me something. The food I was eating, Turkish food, was poisoning me.…
Finance Minister Bill English today announced a massive bailout of the Catholic Church. Mr English would not confirm the scale of the assistance being provided by the government, but it is understood to be worth billions of dollars. The move by the government came after concerns were raised by Church officers that it might not…
Prime Minister John Key is seeking to trade mark a number of the comedy phrases and slogans that have made him famous. Mr Key’s patent attorney James Baldpark last week filed a number of trade mark applications with the New Zealand Intellectual Property Office. Key’s move came only a day after news broke that US…
Experts are lauding the Government’s decision to donate two million dollars towards the erection of a giant plastic waka-shaped structure. The structure will showcase Maori culture to visiting tourists during the Rugby World Cup, and will help to promote “Brand Maori” to the world. Noted art critic Yvonne D’Fleury said that the decision to go…
Imperator Fish 
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