Thanks to a deal I’ve managed to score with the noted historical fiction author Bernard Cornwell, here are some extracts from the seventy-sixth book in his acclaimed series The Parliamentary Quest. In this book, young Nathaniel Sharphook, the National MP for Whangamamatara, continues his search for the person who killed his family. But first he…
In my younger carefree days I was known to eat the odd felafel, especially late at night after a few jugs of beer. But I’d usually wake up the next morning feeling dreadful and with a splitting headache. My body was obviously telling me something. The food I was eating, Turkish food, was poisoning me.…
Finance Minister Bill English today announced a massive bailout of the Catholic Church. Mr English would not confirm the scale of the assistance being provided by the government, but it is understood to be worth billions of dollars. The move by the government came after concerns were raised by Church officers that it might not…
Prime Minister John Key is seeking to trade mark a number of the comedy phrases and slogans that have made him famous. Mr Key’s patent attorney James Baldpark last week filed a number of trade mark applications with the New Zealand Intellectual Property Office. Key’s move came only a day after news broke that US…
Experts are lauding the Government’s decision to donate two million dollars towards the erection of a giant plastic waka-shaped structure. The structure will showcase Maori culture to visiting tourists during the Rugby World Cup, and will help to promote “Brand Maori” to the world. Noted art critic Yvonne D’Fleury said that the decision to go…
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The politicians talk an awful lot about what we need to do to transform our economy. Most of it’s the same old claptrap that we’ve all heard before. They say we should invest in new technologies, or engage in the latest new-fangled business practices. I still remember the days when people said that the computer would…
It’s that time again. It’s amazing how the year just races by. Already it’s time for the annual Illuminati conference. This year’s event is being held in Sydney, which means I won’t be posting much, if at all, for a few days. With all the secret rituals, drinking gallons of human blood and plotting your…
Labour leader Phil Goff was under fire today, after admitting his party used psychics to help make important decisions. The revelations came after footage appeared on TV1’s Close Up last night of a secret Labour frontbench session with a medium known as Madame Esmeralda. Mr Goff admitted today that the party had consulted a number of…
Conservative columnist Dr Frank Shizenhausen exposes the weakness of every bully There’s been a lot of talk in the media lately about bullying and the best way to tackle the problem. I’ve always found that if there’s one thing bullies don’t like it’s someone who fights back. That’s why I make it a policy to commit…
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