A further instalment in an occasional series exposing the darkest secrets of the Labour Party caucus room. David Shearer: Thanks, team, for coming to this special meeting. I know you’re all busy and have places to be, but this is important. You all need to know that we’re about to get some heat over our…
You know who else refused to go quietly when his time was up? Adolf Hitler.
Below is a full text of John Key’s apology this morning: Firstly, let me say what a tremendous honour and privilege it is to be a member of this parliament. I entered politics because, like all members, I wanted to make a difference and make our country a better place. I am in awe of…
More shocking revelations have emerged today about embattled National Party list MP Aaron Gilmore. In the latest dramatic twist, a man has told Newstalk ZB’s Mike Hosking that Gilmore once told him he would no longer be his friend. George Robinson alleges that Gilmore’s behaviour occurred as the pair drank cordial and ate apples in the school playground, thirty-four…
(Read the original A day in the life of Patrick Gower here) 6:43 am Some serious questions have to be raised about the cornflakes, after I chose toast for my breakfast. The inability of the cornflakes to inspire me for the third day running leaves toast in the ascendancy, and it’s another monumental failure for the Kellogg…
Prime Minister John Key has told a group of Takapuna business leaders that Wellington is dying. “The reality is even Wellington is dying and we don’t know how to turn it around. All you have there is government, Victoria University and Weta Workshop”, said Mr Key. That’s unfair. Wellington has so much more to offer.…
“Building a vast mansion even as the company you operate is collapsing all around you… well, that could happen to anyone.” Investors in Hanover Finance have moved quickly to help the company’s former head, Mark Hotchin, after a Herald on Sunday story revealed that he was struggling in poverty in Australia.A Facebook page entitled “Friends…
Well he didn’t kill anyone. Actually, that’s all I have. I’m empty. Can anyone help me with this post? And can we talk about something different now? Like all the really important stuff we forgot to talk about last week? Poverty, unemployment, the economy, blah blah blah… No, I agree, this is more fun.
Last week you decided to spread rain across much of the country, while in other parts of New Zealand you allowed the sun to continue shining. We respect your right as an all-powerful celestial being to continue determining the weather conditions we, your humble minions, are to experience. However, your weather policy has deeply troubled…
I just want to say that I have apologised for any offence anyone took from the behaviour of my group on Saturday night. Hang on a minute. Someone has pointed out that my apology wasn’t so much an apology, as a statement that I had already apologised. I’m sorry if some of you misunderstood my apology…
Imperator Fish 
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