A guest post from Jerry Smedwit of the New Zealand Centre for Research and Policy.

Waitangi Day is just about here, and yet again it’s being ruined by the Marries.

Every year it’s the same. Every Waitangi Day the Marries turn up to the Treaty grounds to protest, shout at people, and generally cause a nuisance. Why can’t they just look pretty in their grass skirts, do a nice haka or dance for the crowd, and then move to the side quietly so the important white people can talk?

This year they even jostled the Governor-General, although he denied any such thing happened. Well he would, wouldn’t he? Those Marries always stick together.

What’s special about Waitangi Day anyway? The Marries weren’t even the first people to reach New Zealand, and it’s an established fact (despite the protestations of pro-Marrie academics to the contrary) that the Phoenicians, the Celts, the Romans, the Greeks, and the Scandinavians beat them here. So where did all of those peoples go? Isn’t it obvious? The Marries killed them and then ate them. Then they destroyed the evidence. That’s the important fact the so-called experts fail to take into account when they mock claims that other races got here first. They ask where the evidence for such a claim is. But there is no evidence, which just goes to show that the Marries destroyed it all.

And now Waitangi Day is almost upon us, and yet again the Marries have an awful lot to say. It’s the same thing every year. Why can’t we be more like Australia? Australia Day is a celebration of their nationhood. A day where people wave flags, get their barbecues out, and randomly beat up brown people.

The Marries are just lucky they didn’t end up like the Aborigines. They’re lucky we didn’t engage in mass genocide, and that we settled for taking their lands and attempting for decades to suppress their language and culture. But what thanks do we ever get for our forbearance?

It’s sickening the way the Marries go on about how hard they have it, as if this is somehow my fault. Well I’m not to blame for what happened in the past, so why should I worry myself about their so-called historical grievances? They call us racists just because our culture happens to be the dominant one, and they accuse us of stealing all of their lands. It makes me angry, and even though I don’t have a racist bone in my body I can’t help but think those bloody Marries are taking the proverbial!

But if we did take their lands then we were doing them a favour. By taking all of their lands and depriving them of all their treasures we saved them millions of dollars in land rates. And think of all the time and money the Marries saved through not having to mow all those lawns.

Marrie entitlement is all around us. They demanded the vote, so our cowardly politicians caved in and gave it to them. Then they demanded healthcare, and so we let them use our hospitals (look how that turned out. They’ve taken almost all of the hospital beds!). And now they’re complaining about the justice system, even though we let them use our prisons more than any other race. It’s just never enough for those greedy Marries!

So expect the Marries on Waitangi Day to complain about all the good things we’ve done for them. But what wrongs have we ever committed? We gave them our religion, our culture, and even our diseases. But what thanks do we ever get? Every Waitangi Day they go on as if they have some special claim to the occasion. But what has Waitangi Day got to do with the Marries anyway?

And then there’s the whole Treaty grievance industry. Why should we even care what the Treaty says? I didn’t sign the Treaty, so why should I have to be bound by it? In fact I’m part Irish, and the blood of the warrior Celts runs through my veins. My people were here first, so where’s my special treatment? I want a tribunal dedicated to settling my grievances. They can start by sorting the Sky TV people out, because every time I call them on the phone I’m on hold for hours. How about settling that little injustice? And why don’t they do something about the fact that my supermarket no longer stocks my preferred brand of dental floss?

I’ll tell you why nothing is done. It’s political correctness. That’s what it is. It’s also racism. They’re all being racist, and it’s all because I’m white. Why do they hate white people so much? Who knows? Maybe it’s some sort of genetic predisposition, like the Warrior Gene. I’m not sure what it is about those Marries and their racism, but I won’t put up with it. That’s why I never hire Marries in any of my businesses. I have zero tolerance for racists!