The Shocking Truth Behind Balloon Story

Authorities have confirmed the balloon incident that shocked the world yesterday was no accident.

The incident, in which Labour leader Phil Goff floated away in a balloon, stunned onlookers and quickly became the most watched clip on YouTube.

But secret video footage taken of the incident has revealed a number of Labour MPs forcing the hapless Goff into the balloon. Mr Goff is clearly heard shouting “No! No! Helen, don’t do this! The polls are wrong! I’m really a cool guy!” Then as the balloon begins to ascend he is heard to cry “the motorbike! Check me out on the motorbike! Noooo!”

Late last night the balloon, with Mr Goff still holding on, was seen drifting over the Tasman Sea. Goff is expected to fly over the northern outskirts of Sydney later this morning.

Mr Goff’s ordeal caused a flurry of activity within Labour circles. Goff’s supporters have urged the Labour Party to take urgent action, and last night the Labour Party announced it would hold a series of regional committee meetings to determine whether to put a ballot to members on what form any rescue might take. Any vote will then be ratified by the party’s New Zealand Council.

It is thought a rescue bid may be launched within six to eight weeks of a final decision being made.