John’s diary – 28/1/10

Dear Diary

Wow, what a busy couple of days! I just had to write!

Had to take one of Anne’s jobs off her the other day. I told her she should focus on getting national standards for literacy and numeracy sorted out. I told the media this wasn’t a demotion. Hopefully they didn’t see the crossed fingers behind my back.

In my job I get to meet a lot of people with poor literacy and numeracy skills. Some of them aren’t even in Cabinet. LOL!

Paula says more people are out of work. I don’t get this. I thought the national cycleway was supposed to bring jobs to all. What happened? Maybe we just need to promote this idea more. I made some suggestions about this to Paula, but she doesn’t like my slogan “National’s employment policy – get on your bike!”

Hey, what a big power cut that was in Auckland on Monday! There were lots of pictures on TV of this angry guy waving his arms around and losing his rag at Transpower. He looked kind of dangerous. Although those who know John Banks say he’s mostly harmless.

Murray’s sounding quite pleased at the moment. He says his men are closing in on the Shire.

Labour reappointed Phil Goff as leader. Then they had a barbecue at his pad. No way would I hold a BBQ for my colleagues. Some radio guy gatecrashed the last one I went to. Although I could station Tau next to the fence. Good luck to anyone who tries to get past him. LOL!

Talking of mad dogs, those pit bulls don’t look very nice. Apparently a bite from one is like being attacked by Trevor Mallard. Rodney had been saying he doesn’t like the dog control laws, because they interfere with dog owners’ rights. Funny how he’s harder on violent people than violent dogs. I didn’t pick him for an animal lover. Mind you, he’s always saying these violent offenders are animals. Maybe that’s his way of showing he cares for them.

Now Rodney says we may need to look at the dog control laws again. I like how Rodney can trade away his principles when they become politically inconvenient.

Sometimes you just can’t win. I announce a massive increase in the minimum wage yesterday and the bastards still complain. Oh wait, the press release says 25 cents, not 25%. LOL!

Simon’s just announced he wants a new law to criminalise cartels. He says he wants to put a stop to things like price fixing and bid rigging. I’d better check he’s included an exception for Rugby World Cup TV rights. LOL!

Better get going. Doing nothing is time consuming!