Dear Diary

Saw Bill’s girl on the telly last night. She got 99% in an international exam. That’s much better than the 21% Bill got in his 2002 test. LOL!

I just read about a Northland girl auctioning off her virginity for $45K. That’s a tidy sum to get for auctioning off your principles and self-respect. Peter Dunne was much cheaper, though to be fair he’d been around the block a few times.

Simon is a financial wizard. He says each of the graduates of Te Harihanga  Te Hahuhahu  Te Hurihuri Te Hapuhapu  Te Hurihanga cost the taxpayer over $600K. And people wonder why we need National Standards in numeracy. LOL!

But those teachers are a stroppy lot. Bunch of lefties, all of ’em. I made some suggestions to Anne about how we could better sell National Standards. She wasn’t impressed when I told her we should change their name to Labour Standards.

Decided to increase penalties for animal abusers. This will be a popular move, and anyway I like puppies. Murray does too, and has asked if we can have a puppy for the Cabinet room. He says it will go nicely with the tea and crackers. Simon agrees, and says it will certainly taste better than the dead rats he’s had to swallow lately. LOL!

On the subject of dogs, Nick’s been talking to me about our environmental policies. He says we have to join the Copenhagen Accord, whatever the hell that is. I suppose there has to be something gained for me missing a Fleetwood Mac concert.

Must go. Have a lot to do today: smiling, being relaxed about stuff, dreaming of golf.