A group of DIFTINGUISHED GENTLEMEN
wishes to announce the eftablishment of a new limited liability company
THE ROYAL SOUTH SEAS PIPE TRADING COMPANY.
The PERFONAGES behinde the propofed enterprife include
SIR JASPER BUSH-MULLBERRY
LORD BENTNICKLE
THE RT HON SIR ANTHONY MARLBOROUGH-SNEDLY-SMYTH-PANTYFORTH.
SUBFCRIPTIONS ARE NOW FOUGHT
from members of the public such as will enable the company to
eftablish a communicationne pipe from the
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA to areas of the ANTIPODES,
in respect of which the said areas may include
NEW ZEALAND, AUSTRALIA and OTHER OUTLYING REGIONS OF HER MAJESTY’S EMPIRE.
The pipe to be eftablishedde, upon its completion, will be an
ENGINEERING MARVEL
and will stand as a teftament to the
GENIUS OF THE BRITISH RACE.
The pipe will enable the use of
TELEPHONES
and other means of communication,
as will make it possible for the colonists in towns such as
Port Nicholson and Nelson to communicate with those
in the United States of America.
The benefits to the Colonies will be
CONFIDERABLE.
Ladies in the Colonies will be able to order the fineft
CORSETS
from the salons of New York by telephone,
and suppliers of timber, gumme and wool will be able to
more easily make fupply arrangements with the settlers of the Californian territories.
The Eftablishment Committee seeks
SUBFCRIPTIONS
from members of the public who wish to enjoye
SPLENDID RETURNS.
A total of £1500 is fought, with a minimumme subfcription of 50p.
Thefe monies will be applied towards the acquifition of materials,
and in the hiring of a subftantial native labour force.
Monies will also be applied towards negotiations with a number of
TRIBES
whose Pacific Islands lie in the way of the propofed pipeline.
Those negotiations will be
ENHANCED
by the assistance of the
ROYAL NAVY,
whose neweft frigate, HMS ANTELOPE, is available in the event a
MORE DELICATE APPROACH
is needed to secure native support.
Not only does the venture promise
BEWILDERINGLY VAST RETURNS,
but it will also help to
SPREAD THE LIGHT OF CIVILISATION AND CHRISTIANITY
to anne otherwise godless and savage corner of the Empire.
For information on this subfcription you may write to the
SUBFCRIPTION COMMITTEE
PO BOX 4
PORT NICHOLSON.
GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!
Imperator Fish 