Them crazy scienticians are always making stuff up.

Like the whole global warming thing. Thanks but no thanks. I don’t need science-persons to tell me what our planet is doing. How can the Earth be warming when it’s actually quite cool today?

No, sir, if I want my climate science I’ll listen to the corporate lobbyists, resource management lecturers and town planners who know their stuff.

Now those crazy cats are saying that share trading may actually prompt heart attacks.

That’s the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever heard. How can buying shares, then desperately selling them under enormous stress for much less than the price you bought them for, because you’re a fool who wouldn’t know a good investment from a hot curry roll, endanger one’s heart? It’s all a bit of harmless fun, innit?

Do these clever learned-type-persons mean to tell us that when people get cleaned out financially they may actually suffer health problems?

If that were the case, then we would probably have to conclude that the people behind such fine institutions as Blue Chip, Hanover and Bridgecorp were responsible for the deaths of many, especially the elderly and inform who put their life savings in those ventures. We would even have to go as far as to say they have blood on their hands.

Which would be as preposterous as believing we are descended from monkeys.