Right Thinking – This Poll Takes The Biscuit

More common sense from plain-talking Conservative Dr. Frank Shizenhausen

It’s time for Prime Minister Key to do the right thing. Once again, the people have voted for a return to good old fashioned values in our schools.

The advocacy group Fighting for the Family conducted a poll recently on corporal punishment in schools, and the poll’s results show most New Zealanders are in favour of a return to the strap, cane, paddle, whip, flail, and club.

The Curia Market Research poll asked the following question:

Would you be happy for a school to choose to use corporal punishment, if the board, parents and principal wished to have this as an option for school discipline, if your family and friends had begged you to vote for the measure, if money had been discretely slipped into your bank account on the promise that more would follow if you said ‘yes’, if strangers left messages on your voicemail threatening you and your family if you voted ‘no’, if you misheard the question and actually thought the question was ‘would you like to be earning more money?’, if a mountain of pseudo-scientific evidence cobbled together by religious groups and fundamentalists was thrust upon you, and where that evidence indicated society benefited when children were beaten like dogs, if your favourite TV star or pop diva said violence against children was, like, totally, like, awesome, if just prior to being polled you had promised yourself not to say ‘no’ to anyone for the entire day, and if you also just happened to hate kids?

Not surprisingly, very few people voted ‘no’. What this tells us is that people yearn for better times, when children were obedient and attentive, and when young boys were more interested in cricket and soggy biscuit than.rap music and gangs.

You can be sure that those pantywaists who voted ‘no’ in the poll grew up in liberal households where the rod was spared. These overindulged bed-wetters will have never had the benefits of discipline, so they don’t know what they are missing.

I was certainly beaten about, and it taught me respect for those in authority. This has served me well all my life, and I have lived an exemplary life, apart from one minor brush with the law. And on that occasion I was the subject of a gross injustice, because I only stabbed the nun twelve times, not the seventeen times the Prosecution alleged.

The Prime Minister would be wise to listen to the masses on this issue. Any politician who ignores the wishes of the majority, except when the majority are a bunch of pansy wet lefties, risks political annihilation.

I could write much more on this subject, but I have some old school chums coming around soon. Better make sure I have some biscuits in the cupboard.