The imminent trial in Japan of anti-whaling activist Peter Bethune is an opportunity to see justice done, says the group’s spokesman, Ahab McReverend.

“Since the abolition of unrestricted commercial whaling some years ago, we have been witness to a steady increase in the amount of whale rage. Do-gooders like Bethune think they are somehow helping the whales when they interfere in whaling operations, but they are in fact helping nobody.”

Mr McReverend points out that recent Japanese scientific evidence shows that whales actually like being killed and eaten.

A study by the Japanese Cetacean Research and Sushi Foundation interviewed over a thousand whales as they were being caught and harpooned. The whales were asked a series of questions. Because whales do not have a language humans can understand, they were instructed to signal simple “yes” or “no” answers. A “yes” would be signalled by the whale thrashing around, while a “no” would be signalled by stillness.

When these whales were asked if they enjoyed being harpooned, all of them said “yes”.

When asked if the thought of their flesh becoming a wholesome meal for Japanese consumers gave them a sense of purpose and contentment, they were again unequivocal: 100% said “yes”.

And when asked whether Peter Bethune was an infamous criminal who should be shown no mercy, and who should be publicly humiliated in front of a braying Japanese public, all of them said “yes”.

Japan has long led the way in scientific research on whaling, and these scientific results cannot be easily dismissed. We know whales are a major social problem, but the research tells us that they want to be helped.

Well meaning liberals may think that their interventions can help, but the whales are telling us that what they want the most is tough love. Not social workers, case managers or other hand-wringers.

That’s why it’s important for the people of Japan to send a tough message to the world. They have done the science, and they know that their whaling programme helps to break whales from the grim cycle of swimming about, eating and mating. The results they have achieved are incredible, but no amount of science will ever convince the Peter Bethunes of the world.

The Sensible Whaling Trust urges the authorities in Japan to send a loud message to whale-lovers that their actions will be ruthlessly punished.