Under Pressure Springbok Coach Attacks Critics

The pressure continues to pile onto Peter de Villiers, the embattled coach of the South African rugby team.

His team is returning home after a dreadful three-match tour, following Saturday night’s hammering at the hands of the Wallabies.

Now questions are being raised about his coaching skills, and reports are emerging of a rift between de Villiers and his assistant coaches.

Last week de Villiers accused referees of favouring New Zealand teams, and accused them of bias. He also claimed All Blacks captain Riche McCaw was a cheat.

The accusations of referee bias have been strongly denounced by SANZAR referee officials.

“We reject any suggestion of bias or anti-South African sentiment,” said spokesperson Andrew White.

“Of course, it’s no surprise to hear them whining like this yet again. Everyone knows they’re a nation of cheats. I’ve always said the only good South African is a dead one.

“So that’s why we don’t take seriously these allegations of bias and anti-South African treatment. What else would you expect from a nation of villains?”

Peter de Villiers spoke to the media just before he boarded a plane back to South Africa.

On the accusations of referee bias and cheating de Villiers said: “You can’t be an elephant without squashing a few flowers. In the case of South African rugby it seems the flowers are wearing referees’ jerseys. And when you swim with sharks the trick is to make sure you feed them first.”

He shrugged off the latest series of setbacks, and denied his team had a discipline problem.

“You ask me what is wrong with my coaching, and let me tell you. They told Jesus he couldn’t walk on water, but when he turned it into wine and they all got drunk he was the only one left standing when the band began to play.

“When they put King Tut in his tomb they filled it with gold. Now gold is a very fine thing, but it won’t help you when you’re dead.”

The embattled coach also took a swing at his team’s critics.

“I don’t listen to all this criticism of how this player is dirty or that player is a cheat, because when a crocodile looks you in the eye it doesn’t matter who has the bigger balls.

“This team is like a fast car. If a tyre blows the car will lose control, and might end up in a ditch. You don’t throw your car away because of one bad tyre, even if the driver is dead at the wheel.”

The South African coach is not without support within the rugby community. Former All Black Andy Haden said last night that de Villiers was worth persevering with.

“South Africa is going through tremendous social upheaval,” said Haden. “We should not underestimate the importance and symbolism of a non-white being at the head of an institution that for many years epitomised white rule and the evils of apartheid.

“I’d like to see de Villiers given more time to transform the game in South Africa, and to bring about much needed reform there.

“Also, he’s a shit coach, so hopefully they don’t dump him before the World Cup.”